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According to a 2020 survey by the Ministry of Solidarity, one in two parents report being socially isolated when caring for their children. However, it poses a great risk to the mental health of both adults and offspring. In this context, the book by Antoine Guedeney, child psychiatrist and professor emeritus at the University of Paris-Cité, is timely. His message: The alliance between parents, whether they are together or not, is the first step to breaking isolation.
Based on his many years of experience supporting families, the author offers valuable insights into cultivating constructive relationships between parents for the benefit of the child. It focuses more specifically on the place of fathers, which is not always easy to take. In fact, they are quick to criticize for not doing enough or for not doing what they should. However, their role – or more generally that of the second parent in homosexual couples – is crucial for maintaining family balance: given the stress caused by the baby’s crying, the need to always be physically and mentally available is it’s better to be able to pass the baton from time to time! Experts call this solid alliance, this constant cooperation between parents “co-parenting”.
Antoine Guedeney’s work illuminates, with finesse and humanity, the possible ways of this shared education to promote everyone’s sense of competence. The challenge is also to prevent conflict and violence that between exhausted parents could lead to a real tsunami for the child, whose foundation of security collapses. Another key message of the book is that the alliance should not stop at the parents: it takes a whole village to raise a child, says an African proverb. This village must be rebuilt with each birth and have the courage to ask for support from the family, childcare providers or other parents, to build a network of solidarity to which everyone contributes.
Rebecca Shankland
Rébecca Shankland is Professor of Developmental Psychology at the University of Lyon 2.
#Good #dealings #fathers