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Jul 1, 2024 7:40 am | comment
SUNDAY MORNING WITH IVAN VYSKOČIL “Three nuts for Cinderella? Are there no pranks with devils? None of them have Nutella on our Péta. Teller! Does he invent these fairy tales himself?” Actor and Club 2019 member Ivan Vyskočil returns to Prime Minister Fiala’s Christmas speech. He was amazed at the “New Year’s prices” in the store and the new regulation on advance payments for additional costs. “It warms me to think that we are such a selfless and philanthropic nation. “We keep the German economy going with our cheap electricity,” he doesn’t skimp on sarcasm and doesn’t take any napkins to wish him luck for the New Year.
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Description: Actor Ivan Vyskocil
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“My dear readers, I hope you survived the Christmas holidays in good health. You weren’t surprised by any fish bones and the hustle and bustle in the shops didn’t dampen your mood, so you could sit in front of the TV and watch Christmas stories. We watched “Three Nuts for Cinderella” again, “There are no jokes with devils” and again the fairy tale “Klích St. Peter”. The most successful fairy tale, the clear winner in the competition for the best fairy tale, was also a fairy tale by Peter. It was Peter Fiala’s fairy tale! Where are all of those mentioned or even those with a gold star on their forehead and a dragon going with their imagination?” Ivan Vyskočil grabs his head right at the beginning of this Sunday morning and points this out.
“None of them have anything like our Péta Nutella. Nobody knows how our Péťa Nutella Fialenko tried to put us to sleep and cheer us up. Hajaja can go and bury himself, and Bróďa is ashamed in his grave. I already wrote last time that Mr. Prime Minister was the best Baron Prášil with his philanderers, one of the best comedians with his Nutella, and now he has become successful as a storyteller. I just don’t know if someone writes the fairy tales for him? Or did he come up with it himself?” asks the actor in astonishment and gets straight to the point.
Prices in stores? A wound between the eyes…
“It’s Thursday as I write this and I went shopping for the first time this new year. I didn’t even take much money with me as I remembered the Prime Minister’s words about how we could make our food cheaper. The shock I received when I saw the new prices nearly stopped me in my tracks. Readers will forgive me, but I immediately thought of the joke, which is not at all proper, but it is apt and there is no way to use any other expression than a completely appropriate one. The Frenchman and the Czech are having fun and Frantík complains: “It’s terrible.” “Whores have become more expensive.” And Cech added indignantly: “They’ve made whores more expensive for us too!!!” And I add, that the festival. And then there was the water bill, the new electric fee schedule, and I already know what the tolls are going to cost, and my eyes will probably bug out when I get the property tax due. “I’m a working pensioner or a fart, but somehow I don’t earn enough for it,” he says, not exactly cheerfully, and continues.
I’m worried that the food on the gas stove might become infected with the alphabet
“But I’m not breaking down! It warms me to think that we are such a selfless and philanthropic nation. With our cheap electricity we keep the German economy running. We would rather pay more for energy just so our neighbors don’t suffer. “I dread the thought that cooking on my gas stove could contaminate the food from the burners,” he says with a healthy dose of sarcasm and continues in the same tone. “It’s best to get us another one, maybe a lot more expensive.” Only for God’s sake, not the Russian one. Evil, desolate tongues claim that it is the Russian one, only with a different label and a different price? But who would believe such Russian trolls?’
“Furthermore, our devastated education and health services don’t need that much money. “After all, we are people from Kabrňa who know how to tighten our belts, especially to help Ukraine prosper,” he adds, not shying away from sarcasm.
“My dear ones, I wish you to somehow survive the next year, and I also wish you to stop being so patient and selfless and not to let everyone press you like a wet rag.”
PS Ivana Vyskočila
Of course, the traditional PS Ivan Vyskočil should not be missing this time either. And he definitely didn’t bring any napkins. “I forgot to wish you all good luck. “I’m just afraid that the luck of this demolition government finally going to shit unfortunately probably won’t happen to us,” the actor tells his readers.
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Author: David Hora
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