1706157640
Manipulation occurs very often in relationships between partners, but also in the workplace or in the extended family. Do you live with a constant feeling of guilt and inferiority and find it very difficult to defend your rights and needs? Then you may have someone close to you who has learned to use your kindness and decency to their advantage. And he finishes it all off by actually helping you and trying to do everything for your happiness and satisfaction. However, nothing could be further from the truth. A manipulator always acts only in his own interest and does not particularly care about others.
7 Signs You’re Under the Influence of a Manipulator
The problem is difficult to detect. In fact, manipulative behavior often creeps into relationships very subtly and wrapped up in nice words. “It is an act of deliberate psychological control of a person for personal gain.” “It is inherently unfair and often very subtle and indirect,” is how manipulation is defined by noted Californian clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly.
In her opinion, it can also be quite obvious – but usually only to others. The person who is subjected to manipulation only realizes after a warning or even years later that someone is constantly influencing him for his own benefit. And he himself is very surprised at how easy he has become prey. So what should you pay attention to?
1. He doesn’t care about your interests
The classic manifestations include situations in which the manipulator brushes off all your arguments as if they did not exist, preferring only his own. He often tries to give the impression that your job is primarily to listen to him, understand him and be on his side.
2. Requires your full consent
Compromise is normal in a balanced relationship, but if everything happens just the way the other person wants it, it is clearly manipulation. Try to look back and think about how many times you’ve done something together as a couple that was guided by your decisions and desires, whether it was choosing a restaurant or perhaps a vacation. The ratio of his and your fulfilled wishes clearly tells you how you are doing.
3. He exploits your weaknesses
It is very unfair to confide in someone your fear, pain or trauma. And he will use it against you when it suits him. According to experts, this is one of the very serious signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
4. With him you are not yourself
Are you afraid to express your needs or feelings for fear of not being heard? Are you still in control of your emotions and reactions? This is also a very bad signal. Especially if you fear provoking your partner’s anger, resentment, or even revenge.
5. He lies and distorts the facts
Manipulators are masters at manipulating reality to suit them. Do you remember exactly how something happened or what was said, but are constantly told that it was completely different or that you completely misunderstood the whole thing? If this happens frequently, it is gaslighting, a very insidious form of manipulation.
6. You feel the need to apologize for everything
Do you have to explain every decision you make and do you feel like you always have to apologize for something? Then it is likely that your partner is putting unhealthy pressure on you, which is not okay. An apology is appropriate if you have hurt someone, even unknowingly. There is no reason to apologize for ordinary behavior and expression of one’s attitudes and opinions.
7. There are double standards
You feel like there are two rules: one for you and one for him. His mistakes and failures are downplayed while yours are exaggerated and still brought up – even weeks or months later. When you say no, you often learn that it would be good to reconsider such a “bad” decision, you are convinced that you are wrong, that you are making a mistake…
Yes. A manipulator can do all this to you. And understanding that his behavior is wrong, not yours, is the first step toward making amends. This is the only way you can regain your self-esteem, healthy self-confidence and, above all, life satisfaction and peace of mind.
#clear #signs #partner #manipulating