With staging right to the top

AAt the party congress of the CDU we saw again that politicians who want to make it to the top should not only have something in their heads, but also in their pants. The way Armin Laschet took his father’s miner’s badge out of his pocket and held it in the camera was really big cinema. Much too modest, his remark that he was “perhaps not the man of perfect productions”. It was Merz and Röttgen who were left empty-handed, but probably full of envy for this grandiose idea.

Who knows how the choice would have turned out if Merz had also been able to pull something striking out of the suit! For example the old beer mat. Or a badge with the crossed-out letters F, D and P. That would at least have prevented the cheeky statement from the ranks of the Free Democrats that the FDP was “no catch basin for failed CDU politicians”. And Gabor Steingart might have been spared revocation. A certificate from would have made an impression on the delegates We women for Friedrich Merzthat her darling really has no problem with the opposite sex. In politics, it is always better if you don’t have to praise yourself. Merzen’s selfless renunciation of the seat in the party presidium in favor of women in the CDU came simply too late. The mass was already sung by then.

However, you shouldn’t pull too many rabbits out of the cylinder either. The fact that Jens Spahn jumped out of the digital box like Kai when it came to “pronunciation” almost spoiled Laschet’s magical performance. Apparently someone had tried to turn Spahn off. But the emergency shutdown hit another CDU member, who of course became world famous as a result: Hans-Werner Adams. He belongs to the no less than four per thousand delegates who had spoken in the “debate”. But no syllable could be heard from him. If the graduate engineer had then run for election, he would probably have become party chairman out of pity alone. Everyone has already experienced (several times) what it feels like when in this country you can’t just say everything, but nothing at all.

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Of course, Spahn should have said something. He should have given his assistance to Laschet, if it was intended as such, but at least put one question to Merz. Even between these two party friends, not everything seems to have been completely clarified. However, Spahn’s shot backfired in such a way that a political scientist said on television that Laschet was further away than ever from the candidacy for chancellor; Söder could already pack the suitcases for Berlin.

This commenter must have seen the photo of Molly shortly before. Because Molly even beats Laschet’s brass brand. Anyone who sees this cute ball of fur in CSU black can’t help but shout: Söder for President! You see Molly – and you know immediately that there is a soft Markus kernel in the tough dog Söder, who, curfew or not, has to get out every now and then. “It makes your heart open”, Söder tweeted frankly when he presented his “offspring” to the public. The CSU boss is already a brand! The only thing missing was for him to add that he wasn’t a man for productions either.

And how does the political competition react to this? Apparently she can’t shut her mouth in view of the self-marketing talent suddenly showing up in the Union. Why doesn’t NoWaBo pull out August Bebel’s watch? Where are Annalena Baerbock’s cat videos? Robert Habeck could post the photos of the cows and sows he was photographed with. The times when the Greens’ aversion to pigs was still systematic are over. Speaking of which: Joseph Fischer – for our younger readers: that was a notorious Green in the last century – should perhaps still have a captured police badge in an old pair of trousers, with which he could remember the roots of his party. Or at least a cobblestone.