Welke embittered: “For a quarter it is normal to vote for right-wing extremists”

Lifesaver for everyone? Can Reiner Haseloff save his post, Armin Laschet and the whole CDU in the election in Saxony-Anhalt, asked satirist Oliver Welke in the “heute-show”. image: screenshot / zdf

Oliver Welke embittered: “For a quarter it is normal to vote for right-wing extremists”

Gender madness, the test madness around Jens Spahn and Reiner Haseloff’s attempt to save not only his post in the election in Saxony-Anhalt, but also Armin Laschet and the entire CDU, were the topics in the last “heute show” »(ZDF) before the summer break. And there was also a studio guest. Or is it called «guest»?

jürgen winzer / watson.de

According to “heute-show” presenter Oliver Welke in the last edition of the satire show before the summer break, Reiner Haseloff has plenty of coalition opportunities, if things are not going completely bad on Sunday. Not just “Kenya” (currently: CDU, SPD, Greens), but also “Germany” (CDU, SPD, FDP) or even “Zimbabwe”. Welke: “So with the CDU, SPD, Greens and FDP.” But Welke doubts: “To imagine that, you probably have to take drugs from Zimbabwe.”

Prime Minister Reiner Haseloff’s job is difficult. Not only the government in Saxony-Anhalt – according to Welke “much more than just the transit area from Hanover to Berlin” – is at stake. According to the moderator, Haseloff had to “save Chancellor candidate Armin Laschet and the whole CDU” during the last mood test before the federal election in September. Because: Armin Laschet is not really popular in the East. “The CDU people there just wanted Merz or Söder – or anyone but Armin.”

Does the AfD have so many fans, although or because it is becoming more and more radical?

The last predictions, according to which the AfD could get 24 percent of the vote, are worrying. Welke bitterly: “For a quarter it is normal to vote for right-wing extremists! An openly völkisch nationally led party. ” Many were not bothered by the fact that the personal advisor of the top candidate Oliver Kirchner was a member of the “Home Loyalty German Youth” (HDJ), which has been banned since 2009. “You could also delete the D,” says Welke. The question also arises, “whether the AfD has so many fans, although or because it is becoming more and more radical?”.

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Christian Ehring, on the other hand, said it was important to see the positive, especially in Saxony-Anhalt. After all, 76 percent did not vote for AfD. In addition, the air pump was invented there! “We are not allowed to talk about East Germans like a problem bear.” The guest satirist was saddened to discover that there was no East German in the cabinet. But three Saarlanders: “Three from the Saarland, this French puff, this legendary inbred area!” After all, the Chancellor was – still – East German.

Pharmacist blessing Jens Spahn: “First do it, then see what it costs”

It is currently easier than forming a coalition in Saxony-Anhalt to rake in real money quickly. In any case, said Oliver Welke, who is currently recommending a business idea unreservedly: “Open a test center – even printing money is harder!”

Because Jens Spahn “quickly slapped the test regulation”, clever people with criminal energy took advantage of the countless gaps in the system to clean up with faked test numbers. Because: “Nobody has thought about how to control the centers.” At least not the health minister – his staff does. But like back then with the mask scandal (masks bought for 6.50 euros that only cost 1.22 euros to buy) Spahn once again didn’t listen to “his own people”.

Again, a lot of headwind for the health minister – and a wistful demand: “Very sooner, ministers resigned in a case like this. But only cardinals do that today. ” After all: the pharmacists stick to their Jens, at least actor Matthias Matschke. He is the chairman of the only Jens Spahn fan club and pray daily for the “best health minister in the world”: “Holy Jens, take care of us in times of need.” There is admiration from the pharmacist’s side for the hands-on nature: “Jens is just a doer: first do it and then ask what it costs.” Nice side effect: “We earned ourselves stupid and stupid on the masks. And I stand by it! “

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Gender correctly implemented: “Then become a nutter!”

What is discussed even more hysterically than Spahn’s mistakes and the Saxony-Anhalt election? The gendering! As if the country had no other worries, the gender asterisk and gender language were being completely “derailed”. Some want to “prevent” it and imagine they are in the “gender dictatorship”, others describe Petra Gerster as a “gender terrorist”. Welke welcomed the journalist who had just said goodbye to “heute” as a surprising studio guest: “You are virtually the ZDF’s Osama BininnenLaden.”

According to his own statements, Gerster received various unpleasant messages online and digitally – and her books have been sent back from disappointed readers. “How nice that they have already been bought,” said Welke dryly.

The moderator himself confessed that he was not gendered. “Why? Because that disturbs my otherwise incredibly elegant voice guidance. ” But he has no problem with gender. Others did, as Birte Schneider learned. The “castle actress” recited hate posts against gendering to the gentle sounds of the harp as prose works. A highlight: “What about generic feminine? What about diva, policewoman, hooker, bitch? Then I want Nutter too! ” wrote user Sven AM. Schneider: “Dear Sven, if this is really your dream, then why not become a Nutter: Buy a caravan and stand on the B 9, it is a free country.”

Back to normal: how do you greet the right way?

Yes, the country is becoming freer again – the incidence of corona is falling. The sudden looseness and regained freedoms pose problems for many: What to do with the new old normal? Author Friedemann Weise knew what to do. He answers questions from unsettled people – about the correct form of greeting, when you can meet people again. Weise quoted the RKI’s “Greetings Farmer Rules”: “If you have just recovered from Covid, knock on the bar to say hello.” Or: “The first vaccinated person takes his foot, the vaccinated hand in greeting.”

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But now: No more fun in the withered party – the “heute-show” will take a break until September.


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