Men as Victims of Domestic Violence: Help by Telephone – Society

Herbert Grönemeyer summed it up 36 years ago with three words: “Men secretly cry,” he sang in 1984. At that time, men tended not to speak about their worries and fears, but also about psychological or physical violence, and more than three decades later Germany is not much further on the subject, at least not when it comes to experiences of violence. But there are minimal changes.

North Rhine-Westphalia’s Minister for Equal Opportunities Ina Scharrenbach (CDU) also noticed this when she looked at the statistics of the Federal Criminal Police Office for 2018 at the end of 2019 – and discovered a pattern. After the increase in the number of violent crimes and homicides against women (81.3 percent of the victims are female), the following note is noted: “However, violence in partnerships to the detriment of males also seems to be of increasing relevance (almost continuous) increase in the number of male victims in recent years. ” According to the latest figures, 18.7 percent of the victims are men.

Statistics cannot tell whether the numbers are really increasing. It is possible and likely that at least the reporting behavior will change, meaning that more men who have experienced violence will report to the police. In the statistics of the Federal Criminal Police Office, only acts are recorded that are also reported. Criminologists, however, estimate the number of unreported cases for this type of crime to be extremely high. “In the case of domestic violence, we assume an unreported figure of 80 percent, but we believe that it is significantly higher for men,” says Tobias Großekemper, the press spokesman for the largest German victim protection organization, the Weißer Ring. “This also has to do with the image of masculinity that still prevails in our society. To be a victim of domestic violence as a man is still very shame. To be a victim is considered unmanly, is a taboo subject. Don’t tell his buddies that in the evening. “

On average, between eight and nine men call

Equal Opportunities Minister Scharrenbach wants to further increase the number of men who identify themselves as victims of violence. Because there are hardly any contact points for affected men in Germany, a low-threshold offer should be created. “Men tend not to go to counseling centers, for many the shame is still too great,” says Scharrenbach. “That is why we concentrated on the hotline and the Internet.”

The state governments of North Rhine-Westphalia and Bavaria therefore jointly set up a service that is unique in Germany six months ago: the “men’s helpline”. Men who are affected by bullying, stalking, physical and sexual violence in their relationships or at work can contact the toll-free number 0800 1239900 from Monday to Friday. They should be offered specific help as possible over the phone and local contacts should be made. In North Rhine-Westphalia, the hotline is managed by the “Man-o-mann men advice” in Bielefeld, in Bavaria by the AWO Augsburg; both therapists, psychologists and educators can be reached by telephone. In Bielefeld, the advisory team consists only of men, in Augsburg it is mixed. NRW, the hotline costs around 124,000 euros a year.

After half a year, the minister has now taken stock: Almost 2,400 men have accepted the offer since April, so on average between eight and nine men call each working day. Most of the callers are between 31 and 50 years old; 70 percent of all men report by phone, the others write emails. More than half of all calls are received in Bielefeld between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m. Most of the conversations last around 25 minutes. The men and women are most frequently attacked mentally or physically by their partners or ex-partners; 93 percent of these suspects are women.

“Our experience from the first six months shows: It was right and high time to create the offer and provide quick help for men affected by violence,” says Scharrenbach. The White Ring is also happy about the hotline: “The idea is great. There are far too few advice centers for men in Germany. Those affected must get help – regardless of gender. We hope that the hotline will bring even more cases out of the dark field Brightfield come, “says Weißer Ring spokesman Großekemper.

A particularly large number of men have called in the past five weeks. However, the minister does not want to explain this with Corona, “even if I am thinking intensively about how it will now be in families in the dark season during the pandemic”.

Older men report experiences of abuse in childhood

Unlike women, men experienced psychological violence in most cases, reports Scharrenbach, that is 78 percent of all cases. But: Half of the men state that they were also physically attacked. The reasons given are mostly conflicts in the relationship and with other family members. In addition, older men who report sexual abuse in their childhood are also increasingly reporting. The minister believes that the public processing and reporting of the major abuse cases in Staufen, Lügde, Bergisch Gladbach and Münster also contribute to this.

In Cologne and Düsseldorf there are now eight so-called shelters for men, the concept of which is similar to that of women’s shelters. There should be more to come.


Qatar apologizes for intimate examinations at the airport – Panorama

After the forced intimate examination of female passengers at Doha airport in search of the mother of a newborn baby, Qatar has apologized for the action. Under pressure from the Australian government, which had condemned the practice, the government of Qatar announced on Wednesday that an investigation had begun into the treatment of the women affected.

A newborn baby was found at Doha Airport on October 2nd. The Qatar government communications bureau announced Wednesday morning that the newborn was “hidden in a plastic bag and buried under rubbish” at the airport. It is believed that someone tried to kill the girl.

In search of the mother, the authorities there brought 18 women from Qatar Airways flight 908 to Sydney. Australia’s Foreign Minister Marise Payne said. Accordingly, 13 of the women were Australians, others are said to be from France and Great Britain. In addition, a number of women from ten other aircraft, which could not be clearly quantified, had been examined. Qatar has been asked to send extensive documentation of the incident, Payne continued. This is expected “very soon”.

Because explanations of how the decision was made to examine women under force in the genital area, Qatar has not yet given. Human rights activists compared such investigations to sexual assault.

Qatar regrets causing suffering or violating personal freedom among travelers, it said. The Australian broadcaster Seven Network News had reported that the women had been examined in an ambulance on the tarmac. A male passenger reported that the women were taken from the plane regardless of their age and without explanation. “When I got into the ambulance, there was a woman wearing a mask,” one of the women affected told the news channel ABC. Then the door of the car was slammed and locked.

As in many Middle Eastern countries, sex outside of marriage is a criminal offense in Qatar. In the past, women have often hidden pregnancies and tried to travel abroad to give birth. Others abandoned their babies to avoid prison terms.


Munich: Living in the Pandemic – Munich

The theologian Susanne Breit-Keßler and the social psychologist Dieter Frey on the effect of the pandemic on society: What to do when you encounter mask refusers and whether it is ethically justifiable to call the police at a corona party.

The bishop comes to kiss when she ponders what could stay with Corona. Or, in other words, what long-term consequences of the pandemic she wouldn’t be so sad about. With a certain joy, Susanne Breit-Keßler actually imagines a kind of social upheaval in Munich. Even in serious times, seriousness must not stifle everything. Before that, however, she weighs more fundamental things when she thinks about her city. Solidarity and scapegoats, partying and denunciation, the virus between young and old. It’s about experiences from the Corona year, about big questions and wishes in the second wave.


In the middle of Absurdistan: Curiosities from all over the world – Panorama

In the middle of … Istanbul

(Illustration: Marc Herold)

One more time to the Black Sea, before this summer also completely goes out in Istanbul. On the beach, the white plastic loungers are exemplary with a safe distance. The couple’s argument about raising children five meters further to the right cannot be overheard. Now the little one is yelling too, in the midst of the squabbling. Left: Two young bikini wearers, dripping wet from bathing in the waves, get beer bottles out of their pockets. Actually you are only allowed to consume food and drinks from the beach bar, after all they want to earn something. A disgruntled waiter, however, stays at a Corona distance. One of the two women begins to sing, first softly, then louder, a Turkish love song. The arguing are finally quiet. Then the two women get up, they dance in the sand. It should always be summer. Christiane Schlötzer

In the middle of … Spiekeroog

(Illustration: Marc Herold)

The world is fine on the island of Spiekeroog off East Frisia. There are benches and handcarts for everyone. House doors don’t just fall into the lock, you would have to actively lock them, which hardly anyone does. After all, the village policeman has so little to do that you can see him cutting the blades of grass one by one in front of the guard. This challenges the criminal energy of a group of Upper Bavarian women. The pensioners in the four beach chairs wear expensive sunglasses, they read Southgerman newspaper and believe that nobody understands Bavarian here. “Guad” that the “Koab” was not booked online by name, one calls out. If you only pay for one day on the spot, you can simply keep the deposit-free key and take a seat for free for the next few days. Consent: “So do it.” The islanders are obviously too good for this world. Kia Vahland

In the middle of … Munich

Illustration: Marc Herold

The hotel in the Munich industrial area, where I lived during my internship, is quite nicely designed, only something like a restaurant is missing. The best option when the partner comes to visit is therefore a bank at the bus stop. It’s a bit out of the way, so you can talk to yourself without being disturbed, actually better than in any hotel bar. The charm of the functional buildings in the area even seems very romantic at dusk. Only the bus bothers. As a bank occupant, you inadvertently mislead the bus driver: the bus has to stop a few times for free. So you wave the next buses by as soon as you see them coming from a distance. That goes well until you notice that passengers are waiting next to you. Intensive conversations can be a nuisance – at least for others. Cristina Marina


Patio heater and fire bowl: how do you stay warm outside? – style


Gerhard Matzig

Wolfgang Plattner has an idea how to save the world in the pandemic. The 61-year-old artist, florist, almost architect and visionary is not only stimulating, but also humble. So he would say: First of all, you can support the hosts. But if you think Plattner’s idea through to the end, then it’s not just gastronomy, but (apart from Plattner) also the world that benefits from it. Which also applies to stylish survival in it. It is currently necessary to set up a life outside in a low-virus environment that is advantageous and aerosol-friendly. For the time being, polar bears and penguins should be taken as models for good-looking outdoor existences from the sophisticated lifestyle.


Ventilation and Corona: The shivering classroom – panorama

The sky over Wuppertal is gray, the air in the classroom is cool. Twelve degrees outside temperature, that’s how Dorothee Kleinherbers-Boden tells it on the phone. In her last philosophy lesson in eleventh grade, the headmistress of the Else Lasker Schüler Comprehensive School first had to button up her cardigan because the pupils had already torn open the windows on their own. You wanted it that way, says the headmistress. Despite autumn temperatures. Before the summer vacation, she had to quarantine four classes after individual corona infections. “This made the students even more aware of how important the hygiene concepts are,” says Kleinherbers-Boden, “they don’t want to have to do without learning together again.” Better to freeze together than to absorb school material alone in a warm home.

The windows do not have to be open all hour. Ventilate for at least three minutes every 20 minutes, as recommended by the Conference of Ministers of Education at the end of September. The fine art of ventilating is practiced in most classes in Germany, if the windows in the classrooms can be opened at all. In addition, the teachers should ventilate crossways during the breaks – in other words, keep both windows and doors open and create a draft. Virologists, hygiene experts and fluid mechanics as well as representatives of the Federal Environment Agency, the municipalities, the education unions and the Federal Parents’ Council have drawn up these requirements.

Classes are interrupted every 20 minutes

The Association of Philologists also considers such a ventilation concept to be sensible, explains chairwoman Susanne Lin-Klitzing, especially when no additional room air purifiers are available. “The large amount of ventilation does not mean freezing to death, but in any case changed conditions simply by interrupting lessons every 20 minutes.” Since the distance in classrooms cannot always be maintained, it is all the more important that potentially infectious aerosols can be blown out of the rooms.

However, the outside air is not only virus-free, it is also uncomfortably cool now that autumn is here. And winter is yet to come. In addition to air quality, a packaging principle from nature can therefore also find its place in the classroom – the onion peel principle. Undershirt, shirt, sweater, maybe a pair of ski pants under the jeans. And the best thing to do is to hang the jacket that is usually on the coat hook in front of the classroom door for the break over the back of the chair. A scarf belongs in every well-packed Corona school bag. And how about a thin hat for indoors? Lower Saxony’s minister of education, Grant Hendrik Tonne (SPD), recently summed up the situation briefly and succinctly in a letter to the students: “Dress warmly enough.”

The big packing starts in the classrooms every 20 minutes – followed by the big unpacking five minutes later.

(Photo: Imago)

Parents who have not wrapped their children in several layers of clothing in October may now start doing so in the first Corona winter. And then at school the big packing starts every 20 minutes, followed closely by the unpacking. Jacket on, jacket off. After all, sweating in a down jacket between the ventilation breaks in the classroom is not a solution, says Kleinherbers-Boden.

In the Else-Lasker-Schüler-Schule, an alarm clock is set on the smartphone so that the bowl change and the window opening follow the recommended rhythm. “The pupils also enjoy this because they are given an important task and are allowed to keep their cell phones,” explains the headmistress. Nevertheless, the ventilation concept still has to be implemented. Rituals can help, says Lin-Klitzing, chairman of the Association of Philologists. For example, the song “Wind of Change” could be played for each burst ventilation. The Scorpions song lasts five minutes and ten seconds, almost exactly the recommended ventilating time. The turning hymn from autumn 1989 becomes the fresh air hymn in Corona autumn 2020.

“Sitting in class with a jacket and scarf may not be nice, but compared to a possible infection it is a lesser evil,” says Joshua Grasmüller, state student representative for the Bavarian high schools. As a short-term measure, ventilation is also a good thing in winter, but in the long term it cannot be the only solution. The 18-year-old believes that structural measures to protect schools from infection should have been taken into account as early as the summer holidays.

If necessary with a hot water bottle

On this point he agrees with Lin-Klitzing. In many classrooms, says the head of the Philology Association, the windows cannot be opened. These are therefore unusable for teaching in Corona times. Because of the distance regulations, every classroom is urgently needed. Plexiglass panes to set up between the students or ventilation devices are usually in vain in almost all rooms.

Such purchases are far down on the wish list at the Else-Lasker-Schüler-Schule. At the top: tight windows. The windows have not been replaced for 30 years, and even when they are closed, winter air can enter. To compensate for this, the heaters in the Wuppertal school run permanently at the highest level anyway. “That way, we quickly warm up again after we have aired the room,” says headmistress Kleinherbers-Boden with a hint of gallows humor. A few hot water bottles that were already available in the secretariat for schoolgirls with stomach aches before Corona are being filled even more often these days. As a complement to the onion look.


Coronavirus in Berlin – general uncertainty – panorama


Hilmar Klute, Berlin

In the old days, which were comparatively normal times, Ragner Kilian sat on the first floor at the reception and handed the arriving guests the room key or prepared the bill for the departing guests. What you do as a hotelier. And Kilian still had the friendly Berlin humor ready, yes, there is that too.


Isabelle Huppert about her new film and shooting – society

Interview by

Johanna Adorján

As delicate as a match, she sits with one leg bent on the armchair of a chic Berlin hotel. Her reddish hair falls softly over her shoulders, she wears a black and white striped blouse in wide pants and is barefoot. Every now and then during the conversation she kneads a foot lost in thought.